Always Alone...

Do you ever feel like having kids makes YOU feel left out more than usual?

My hubby and I were invited to a birthday celebration in Niagara-on-the-Lake. Since he's working away right now, we're going to meet at our friends house in Burlington and go on from there. The wine and beer tasting is next weekend at 10AM, so we have to be up probably by 6.

My hubby doesn't quite understand why we need to be up so early. So Burlington is over an hour drive so we'd have to leave by 9 at the absolute latest if there's no traffic. Since we're bringing the babe with us, we'll probably have to drop him off somewhere so now we have to leave at least a half hour earlier, so 8:30. It takes about 15 minutes to load up the truck, so 8:15. The babe usually makes a huge mess in the morning with his breakfast so it's another 20 minutes to bathe and dress him. It's now 7:55. I'll probably need to pump and feed him which will be another half hour or longer so now it's 7:25. I'll need to eat and get ready so now it's 7.

Ok, maybe 6 is a little early, but I was up at 4 last week since I couldn't sleep anymore. I had to be somewhere for 8:50 and it's an hour and a half drive. I was almost late. Things take a lot longer when you have a kid and since I'll probably be the one feeding him and bathing him and everything, I'll need to be up earlier.

Anyways, let's get back to the left out part. We need to find a babysitter or hire a service for the time we're at the wine and beer tasting. I do have a volunteer but they live over an hour away from where we are going. That'll be an extra 2 hours of driving just for a babysitter; it would be nice to see them though as she's my former babysitter. A service would work but they're $25/hr which will work out to over $125 extra for the wine tasting. Since I'm not working right now and all my mat money is spent, we don't really have an extra $125 to spend on babysitting. So in total, it's probably $200 for the room and about $150 for the tasting plus extra for the other meals. That's an expensive weekend. I sure hope he doesn't expect a gift too.

After we check into our rooms, there's talk about going in the hot tub and spa. Unless my hubby takes the babes, I won't be able to do these. We're going to Niagara-on-the-Lake, there's lots of nice restaurants there... will he be allowed in those restaurants. I'm just worried that I won't be able to do anything with anybody because of him. He is usually asleep by 7 so we'll be room bound after that. Makes for quite an exclusive weekend away. We will be bringing the stroller but man, I'm going to have a tough week when we get back.

Do your friends work around you because you have kids and they don't? Or do you get left out too?

Are we really friends?

Everyone always says that your friends will change once you have kids. What happens if you didn't really have any friends to start with??

I have lived in this area for basically ten years. I did have a two year hiatus in that time period where I went away to school. In those ten years I've had, seven different jobs that I can remember. Out of those seven jobs, you think I would have developed some sort of friendship where people would actually want to hang out.

I do have some friends, well if that's what you can call them. These friends we keep saying we should get together sometime, that sometime hasn't seemed to come yet. I basically have an open schedule with not working and staying at home. I generally have one appointment (hair, doctor, etc.) a month where I can't meet up with people for a few hours. I am not really the one that can say, "hey, you available to get together on Wednesday?" Chances are they're working or have plans.

These friends never seem to want to make the effort to get together, it makes me feel like a bad person. Most of these friends have kids as well, so I do understand how things can be difficult. They've all had kids for the whole time I've known them, so that hasn't changed. The major thing that's changed is I don't get to see them at work. These people are all work friends, we hang out at work and don't get together outside of work. I find it very depressing and lonely.

I have another friend who likes to get together on her schedule. It never worked before I had a baby and it definitely doesn't work now. We even moved back to town, so now instead of being a 20 minute drive away, we're a ten minute walk up the street. Oh, and she had a "mutual departure" from her work at the beginning of the summer. Guess how many times she came to visit after this departure. You got it! ZERO! She said to me a couple of time "we should get together since I'm not working." This "friend" also asked me to be in her bridal party and then she and her hubby eloped without telling us. My hubby was supposed to be the best man. In all fairness, it was a really small ceremony and I couldn't have gone anyways since it was at like 10PM, it's still nice to be invited.

My dad said I must not be a very good friend since I've only been invited to ONE friend wedding, jokingly of course. It still hurt my feelings though. The only friend wedding I've been to is a friend from University, whom I met ten years ago and I've seen a handful of times since 2008. HE is probably one of the best friends I have and I miss him all the time. I know he and his wife would actually want to hang out and would schedule a time.

I don't know what else I can do. I've gone to events, I've volunteered, I've given my number to people, I've gone to mom groups. I hate living in this area and hopefully it won't be forever, but we just moved and don't really want to do it again anytime soon.

What else can I do?

The struggle is real...

I've been having a hard time with this whole parenting thing lately. I know I'm not alone in this, but I really am.

My husband is working away, for possibly the next two years, coming home the occasional weekend. It's great having him home, but I don't get time with him or to myself when he comes back. It's really hard!

So every morning I make breakfast for my son which usually consists of some sort of grain cereal and fruit. He likes to feed himself, so I give him a few spoonfuls and then he grabs the spoon from me or starts eating out of the bowl. This becomes incredibly messy and usually ends in a bath. Before I get a chance to have my breakfast, or even coffee, he's fussing and ready to get out of the highchair. To calm him I give him some cheerios so he's covered in head to toe in cereal and cheerios.

The babe has apparently started not wanting to bathe lately. As soon as I put him in the bathtub, he wants out. He starts standing in the tub and coming over to me to take him out. Man, it's so much easier when his Dad is home. Today I just poured water over him as opposed to bathing him. I'm going to buy one of those kiddie shower heads to make bath time easier.

Bedtime has become a hassle as well. He sleeps for about two hours and then wakes up screaming; it's terrifying. I try everything to calm him and the only thing that I have found that works is nursing him back to sleep. Last night he woke up as I was about to crawl into bed. I know it's such a bad thing to get in the habit of, but I brought him into bed with me last night. So basically every two hours he's crying cuz he misses me.

Ugh! I can hear thumping coming from upstairs, so he must have woken up from his nap... if he even went to sleep. I also smell poop somewhere, I don't know if it's me or if there's a dirty diaper somewhere.

Monster-in-Law

Do you have any special people in your life that cause you a great deal of stress?

My lovely MIL makes me feel sick to my stomach more often than not. I dread answering the phone, posting things on Facebook, receiving text messages, basically any meaning of communication.

EVERYTHING I post on Facebook receives a comment. I'm not only talking about things I post about my son, but I could talk about how great a weekend my hubby and I had alone and there would probably be a post saying we should have more of those from her.

My hubby is working away right now, so when he comes home we cherish our alone time as a family. I don't mean extended family, I mean my hubby, myself and our son. His parents come over EVERY weekend he's home. Sometimes they come over EVERY day he's home, meaning we don't really get any alone time. My MIL actually said to me one day that, hubby and I should have more alone time.

ARE YOU F'ING KIDDING ME!! We would love to have alone time, but when I say alone I mean the three of us without them. I'm pretty sure she means the two of us so she can watch our son. She would do absolutely anything to spend alone time with him. I know he's the only grandchild, but WE would like to have some family time. My hubby hasn't seen his son in a while and I would like them to bond so I can have some alone time.

I'm not quite sure how I can tell her how I feel. She's pretty emotional and seems to cry very easily over things that are not a big deal. I can't deal with emotional people. I find I'm more emotional now since having a baby, but I can handle my emotions when it comes to others; TV on the other hand is a whole different story.

My hubby has told them several times, but it just doesn't seem to get in their heads what he's saying. They would like to watch him for a couple of hours a week so I can have some alone time. I love spending time with my son and interacting with him. He's an active boy so you can't just hold him and sing to him or put him in his jumperoo. He needs to crawl and climb up on things, it's how he's going to learn. You may not be ready for him to crawl, just like how you weren't ready for your son to get married and have a baby. Guess what honey, my babe is not your son, he's mine and I'm not going to smother his growth and curiosity, it's important at this stage of his life.

When I was early in my pregnancy, she said multiple times how we need to wait to have kids. She wasn't ready to be a G-ma, or Grammy as she puts it (ugh, hate that name!) Surprise sister, we're having a baby and now you're stuck with me! Did I mention she took me out to Pizza Delight for a birthday lunch. You know what you get at Pizza D on your birthday? A free lunch!!

I could go on and on all night but I figure I should save a little more for another day. But seeing as she's my hubby's Mommy, I'm stuck with her..

Early pregnancy symptoms or just a cold?

I'm not sure how many of you are in similar situations to me. I don't have anybody to talk to about certain things in my life, or I feel like I don't have any one to talk to. Most of the people in my life have not been dealt a great hand, so I feel like my problems are mediocre compared to what's going on in their lives.

Last year when I before I found out I was pregnant, I had suspicions, but I didn't have anyone to talk to about it. Then when I found out I was pregnant, there was nobody I was excited to tell or to share that moment with me other than my husband. My husband had just left to go to Alberta for two months right after we conceived, so I couldn't even tell him in person. Not having anyone to talk to about what's going on in your life is hard and doesn't make important events like pregnancy feel important.

So I'm currently having similar symptoms to when I found out I was pregnant with my son. Before I took the test last time, I just had a feeling I was pregnant; I had lost my appetite and I had developed skin tags on my neck. I know those are typical symptoms, but that's all I had. I was fortunate during my pregnancy to never develop morning sickness or many food aversions. Late in the pregnancy, I did develop swollen feet and did have borderline high blood pressure.

Right now I am experiencing loss of appetite. It's currently 8:30PM and I just made myself a sandwich, not out of hunger, but because I'm still nursing my son and I need the food. Today while I was in Walmart, I had some serious hot and cold flashes. The hot flashes actually made me sweat and I had to take my sweater off. Not too long after that I would still be hot but have chills as well. I'm apparently craving spicy foods as well since I bought jalapeño Havarti cheese and Sweet Chili Heat Doritos.

I do have a cold right now, so the lack of appetite and hot and cold flashes could be a result of that. I can't run to the store as the babe is sleeping and I don't have anybody to watch him. I'll have to go buy a test tomorrow when hubby gets home. I know you may be thinking, just wait for a missed period. That would be ideal, but I haven't had one since my babe's been born so I don't know what to think. I'm pretty sure I was ovulating less than two weekends ago so there is a chance it could be pregnancy. I am not quite ready for it yet, my son is only 8 months old. I guess I'll have to take the hand that's dealt me and get the test tomorrow night. I'll let you know the results Saturday!

My labour day lasts a lifetime!

Labour Day is fast approaching and with Labour Day comes back to school and the corresponding sales. I don't know about you, but my inbox is full of Labour Day emails from all sorts of stores. I think I need to unsubscribe to a lot of stuff, too bad they haven't created an app or something where you can sign up for these notifications and they collect there so they don't clog up your email.

Anyways, when I saw the first Labour Day email, I was a little confused and excited. I didn't understand why stores were offering discounts on the day you went into labour. It's an awesome concept since you're in some wicked awful pain, but how do they keep track of that and I'm busy birthing a baby, I don't care about your damned sales.

I think I was a little exhausted when I read through the subject lines. It then came to me that they were referring to the holiday, Labour Day, not the day I went into labour. I'm pretty sure the baby I get to take home after my labour day is better than the sales you're offering me on material possessions. Thanks, but no thanks!

I think I need to catch up on some sleep.

My labour day!

Live, Laugh, Lover

Today is our two year anniversary. I am so much more in love with my husband today than the day we got married. He's my favourite person in the whole world and I am so proud to call him mine. I can't wait to spend the next 73 years together.

Our wedding day was an interesting day. It was hot and sunny, then rained for a few hours. I was ready before everybody else was and ended up waiting for the photographer and other people to get our pictures done before the ceremony. Once we were about to walk down the aisle, after we moved all the chairs into our backup location, the rain stopped. I did have music I wanted played, but my sister's engineering boyfriend (now ex) couldn't figure out how to get my music to work, so we were musicless. I can't listen to the song without tearing up, maybe some day I will get to walk down the aisle to my dream song.  During the ceremony and after, it was so hot and humid we were all sweating buckets. I don't think I've ever been that hot in my life. When we were signing our marriage license, our officiant told me I should sign in the witness spot, meaning my sister actually almost married my husband. Wouldn't that have been interesting.

Anyways, let's get back to the point of this post... Celebration of love!

I don't expect anything from my husband for our anniversary other than some time with him. Last year the two of us went kayaking. I was supposed to work the day of our anniversary, but one of my coworkers was kind enough to take my shift for me. Since I missed our birthdays because of work, I couldn't miss our first anniversary for a measly $13 an hour. That money wasn't worth missing one of the best celebrations of my life.

Last year when we went kayaking was interesting. I was a little pregnant at the time and was concerned about fitting into the life jacket and the kayak. Luckily I fit. We had the kayaks for about a year and it was my second or third time in them; I was so excited to have a day with my hubby without thinking about anything other than spending time with him. (I can't seem to find any pictures right now, but I'm sure I'll find one somewhere.) In my mind, I wouldn't have asked for a better anniversary than spending time with the ones you love the most.

This year my husband is working away so we can't do anything special on our day. I'm totally ok with this since I married him while he was in this profession. He works away quite a bit which makes our time together all the more special. His mom came over today and brought his gift for me, a white and red carnation (my favourite flower, although I don't know if he remembers or got it because it's cheaper) and a gift certificate for a 75 minute pedicure. Who gives pedicures for 75 minutes, I'm nervous and excited all at the same time.

I still have a little time before he gets home to figure out what to get him. I always have the hardest time with anniversary gifts, I find Christmas and birthdays so much easier. I'm hoping we can spend the weekend relaxing, just the three or us. He cleaned up the fire pit area a couple of weekends ago and WE have yet to use the wonderful fire pit he made me for Christmas. I hope we can use it this weekend. I really love having low key weekends with my boys and couldn't ask for anything more. I'm sure my idea of anniversary time will change as we have more kids and they get older (like a night alone.)

What is your favourite way to spend your anniversary?  Do you have any suggestions for a gift for my hubby?

Birthdays, for me or for him?

My son's first birthday is coming up. I am so excited for a couple of reasons. I love throwing parties and I it will be a whole year from the time I pushed him out of my vajayjay.

I didn't really have very exciting parties growing up, but they were pretty much what we could afford. My parties consisted of a campfire with roasting hotdogs, presents and a homemade cake. It is a great party, but it's the only thing I can remember, I don't remember activities or anything like that. I know my son won't remember his party either, but I will and I want it to BE THE BEST PARTY EVER!!

I have thrown two surprise parties so far and hopefully will be throwing a third next year (hubby turns 30!) so I have some experience with throwing parties. I want to do a themed party for my son, preferably Pixar, but I can't decide which movie I want to go with. We're torn between Monsters Inc and Up. I have so many great ideas for both but it will be my first kid birthday party so I don't really know what to do.

Maybe I should wait until he's older to do themed parties. When the guests are a little older they can better appreciate the awesome parties I'll be throwing with the themed food and themed games. Maybe I should join an event company so I can throw kiddy parties all the time with all the wicked ideas I have. IT WOULD BE SOOO MUCH FUN!! Man, I need to calm down.

If you need help planning any parties or need ideas, I'd be more than willing to share some of mine with you. I don't think I'll have enough birthdays to use all my ideas.

At this point in his life, I'm pretty sure the birthday parties are more for me than for him. What did you do for your kids first birthday party?

You, your baby and thrush.

When the little one was a couple weeks old, I developed a piercing pain in my boobs. It almost felt like there was glass shooting through them, needless to say, it was uncomfortable.

I had a slight inkling it was thrush. Not only did I have this piercing pain, my babe smelled like yeast. Thrush is a yeast infection you and/or your baby can develop for a variety of reasons. We most likely developed it as a side effect of me taking antibiotics while pregnant. I had this wicked sinus infection that made me want to pull out all my teeth.

When I called up the midwife, she asked if he had white stuff on his tongue that would not wipe off. He didn't. She was hesitant to prescribe the antibiotics; she didn't believe that I knew what we had with the symptoms we presented, but thankfully she did. It was between these yellow drops for my son or this purple gunk that I slather on my nipples, I chose the former.

I went and picked up the antibiotics and started giving them to my son; 1mL twice a day like it said. What it didn't say was that shit stains. I was wearing my white nursing bra and it is now forever tainted yellow. It looks like I dropped mustard on my bra, which ironically happened at a later time; the mustard came off easier than the meds did.

I didn't stick with the meds long enough and the pain was back. We had a little bit of antibiotics left so I started the treatment again. This time I gave him half a mL (at my own discretion) twice a day. He was just a wee babe, so I didn't think he needed the full 1mL.

The half mL worked! We were finally thrush free and now the pain in my boobs wasn't from the thrush, it was from the joys of being used as a chew toy!