Do you ever feel like having kids makes YOU feel left out more than usual?
My hubby and I were invited to a birthday celebration in Niagara-on-the-Lake. Since he's working away right now, we're going to meet at our friends house in Burlington and go on from there. The wine and beer tasting is next weekend at 10AM, so we have to be up probably by 6.
My hubby doesn't quite understand why we need to be up so early. So Burlington is over an hour drive so we'd have to leave by 9 at the absolute latest if there's no traffic. Since we're bringing the babe with us, we'll probably have to drop him off somewhere so now we have to leave at least a half hour earlier, so 8:30. It takes about 15 minutes to load up the truck, so 8:15. The babe usually makes a huge mess in the morning with his breakfast so it's another 20 minutes to bathe and dress him. It's now 7:55. I'll probably need to pump and feed him which will be another half hour or longer so now it's 7:25. I'll need to eat and get ready so now it's 7.
Ok, maybe 6 is a little early, but I was up at 4 last week since I couldn't sleep anymore. I had to be somewhere for 8:50 and it's an hour and a half drive. I was almost late. Things take a lot longer when you have a kid and since I'll probably be the one feeding him and bathing him and everything, I'll need to be up earlier.
Anyways, let's get back to the left out part. We need to find a babysitter or hire a service for the time we're at the wine and beer tasting. I do have a volunteer but they live over an hour away from where we are going. That'll be an extra 2 hours of driving just for a babysitter; it would be nice to see them though as she's my former babysitter. A service would work but they're $25/hr which will work out to over $125 extra for the wine tasting. Since I'm not working right now and all my mat money is spent, we don't really have an extra $125 to spend on babysitting. So in total, it's probably $200 for the room and about $150 for the tasting plus extra for the other meals. That's an expensive weekend. I sure hope he doesn't expect a gift too.
After we check into our rooms, there's talk about going in the hot tub and spa. Unless my hubby takes the babes, I won't be able to do these. We're going to Niagara-on-the-Lake, there's lots of nice restaurants there... will he be allowed in those restaurants. I'm just worried that I won't be able to do anything with anybody because of him. He is usually asleep by 7 so we'll be room bound after that. Makes for quite an exclusive weekend away. We will be bringing the stroller but man, I'm going to have a tough week when we get back.
Do your friends work around you because you have kids and they don't? Or do you get left out too?
Thursday 29 September 2016
Tuesday 13 September 2016
Are we really friends?
Everyone always says that your friends will change once you have kids. What happens if you didn't really have any friends to start with??
I have lived in this area for basically ten years. I did have a two year hiatus in that time period where I went away to school. In those ten years I've had, seven different jobs that I can remember. Out of those seven jobs, you think I would have developed some sort of friendship where people would actually want to hang out.
I do have some friends, well if that's what you can call them. These friends we keep saying we should get together sometime, that sometime hasn't seemed to come yet. I basically have an open schedule with not working and staying at home. I generally have one appointment (hair, doctor, etc.) a month where I can't meet up with people for a few hours. I am not really the one that can say, "hey, you available to get together on Wednesday?" Chances are they're working or have plans.
These friends never seem to want to make the effort to get together, it makes me feel like a bad person. Most of these friends have kids as well, so I do understand how things can be difficult. They've all had kids for the whole time I've known them, so that hasn't changed. The major thing that's changed is I don't get to see them at work. These people are all work friends, we hang out at work and don't get together outside of work. I find it very depressing and lonely.
I have another friend who likes to get together on her schedule. It never worked before I had a baby and it definitely doesn't work now. We even moved back to town, so now instead of being a 20 minute drive away, we're a ten minute walk up the street. Oh, and she had a "mutual departure" from her work at the beginning of the summer. Guess how many times she came to visit after this departure. You got it! ZERO! She said to me a couple of time "we should get together since I'm not working." This "friend" also asked me to be in her bridal party and then she and her hubby eloped without telling us. My hubby was supposed to be the best man. In all fairness, it was a really small ceremony and I couldn't have gone anyways since it was at like 10PM, it's still nice to be invited.
My dad said I must not be a very good friend since I've only been invited to ONE friend wedding, jokingly of course. It still hurt my feelings though. The only friend wedding I've been to is a friend from University, whom I met ten years ago and I've seen a handful of times since 2008. HE is probably one of the best friends I have and I miss him all the time. I know he and his wife would actually want to hang out and would schedule a time.
I don't know what else I can do. I've gone to events, I've volunteered, I've given my number to people, I've gone to mom groups. I hate living in this area and hopefully it won't be forever, but we just moved and don't really want to do it again anytime soon.
What else can I do?
I have lived in this area for basically ten years. I did have a two year hiatus in that time period where I went away to school. In those ten years I've had, seven different jobs that I can remember. Out of those seven jobs, you think I would have developed some sort of friendship where people would actually want to hang out.
I do have some friends, well if that's what you can call them. These friends we keep saying we should get together sometime, that sometime hasn't seemed to come yet. I basically have an open schedule with not working and staying at home. I generally have one appointment (hair, doctor, etc.) a month where I can't meet up with people for a few hours. I am not really the one that can say, "hey, you available to get together on Wednesday?" Chances are they're working or have plans.
These friends never seem to want to make the effort to get together, it makes me feel like a bad person. Most of these friends have kids as well, so I do understand how things can be difficult. They've all had kids for the whole time I've known them, so that hasn't changed. The major thing that's changed is I don't get to see them at work. These people are all work friends, we hang out at work and don't get together outside of work. I find it very depressing and lonely.
I have another friend who likes to get together on her schedule. It never worked before I had a baby and it definitely doesn't work now. We even moved back to town, so now instead of being a 20 minute drive away, we're a ten minute walk up the street. Oh, and she had a "mutual departure" from her work at the beginning of the summer. Guess how many times she came to visit after this departure. You got it! ZERO! She said to me a couple of time "we should get together since I'm not working." This "friend" also asked me to be in her bridal party and then she and her hubby eloped without telling us. My hubby was supposed to be the best man. In all fairness, it was a really small ceremony and I couldn't have gone anyways since it was at like 10PM, it's still nice to be invited.
My dad said I must not be a very good friend since I've only been invited to ONE friend wedding, jokingly of course. It still hurt my feelings though. The only friend wedding I've been to is a friend from University, whom I met ten years ago and I've seen a handful of times since 2008. HE is probably one of the best friends I have and I miss him all the time. I know he and his wife would actually want to hang out and would schedule a time.
I don't know what else I can do. I've gone to events, I've volunteered, I've given my number to people, I've gone to mom groups. I hate living in this area and hopefully it won't be forever, but we just moved and don't really want to do it again anytime soon.
What else can I do?
The struggle is real...
I've been having a hard time with this whole parenting thing lately. I know I'm not alone in this, but I really am.
My husband is working away, for possibly the next two years, coming home the occasional weekend. It's great having him home, but I don't get time with him or to myself when he comes back. It's really hard!
So every morning I make breakfast for my son which usually consists of some sort of grain cereal and fruit. He likes to feed himself, so I give him a few spoonfuls and then he grabs the spoon from me or starts eating out of the bowl. This becomes incredibly messy and usually ends in a bath. Before I get a chance to have my breakfast, or even coffee, he's fussing and ready to get out of the highchair. To calm him I give him some cheerios so he's covered in head to toe in cereal and cheerios.
The babe has apparently started not wanting to bathe lately. As soon as I put him in the bathtub, he wants out. He starts standing in the tub and coming over to me to take him out. Man, it's so much easier when his Dad is home. Today I just poured water over him as opposed to bathing him. I'm going to buy one of those kiddie shower heads to make bath time easier.
Bedtime has become a hassle as well. He sleeps for about two hours and then wakes up screaming; it's terrifying. I try everything to calm him and the only thing that I have found that works is nursing him back to sleep. Last night he woke up as I was about to crawl into bed. I know it's such a bad thing to get in the habit of, but I brought him into bed with me last night. So basically every two hours he's crying cuz he misses me.
Ugh! I can hear thumping coming from upstairs, so he must have woken up from his nap... if he even went to sleep. I also smell poop somewhere, I don't know if it's me or if there's a dirty diaper somewhere.
My husband is working away, for possibly the next two years, coming home the occasional weekend. It's great having him home, but I don't get time with him or to myself when he comes back. It's really hard!
So every morning I make breakfast for my son which usually consists of some sort of grain cereal and fruit. He likes to feed himself, so I give him a few spoonfuls and then he grabs the spoon from me or starts eating out of the bowl. This becomes incredibly messy and usually ends in a bath. Before I get a chance to have my breakfast, or even coffee, he's fussing and ready to get out of the highchair. To calm him I give him some cheerios so he's covered in head to toe in cereal and cheerios.
The babe has apparently started not wanting to bathe lately. As soon as I put him in the bathtub, he wants out. He starts standing in the tub and coming over to me to take him out. Man, it's so much easier when his Dad is home. Today I just poured water over him as opposed to bathing him. I'm going to buy one of those kiddie shower heads to make bath time easier.
Bedtime has become a hassle as well. He sleeps for about two hours and then wakes up screaming; it's terrifying. I try everything to calm him and the only thing that I have found that works is nursing him back to sleep. Last night he woke up as I was about to crawl into bed. I know it's such a bad thing to get in the habit of, but I brought him into bed with me last night. So basically every two hours he's crying cuz he misses me.
Ugh! I can hear thumping coming from upstairs, so he must have woken up from his nap... if he even went to sleep. I also smell poop somewhere, I don't know if it's me or if there's a dirty diaper somewhere.
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